All or Nothing

This post is to update everyone on the doctors' decision regarding how I will deliver the baby. This decision was not mine, it is something I have to accept, and I am doing everything I can to prepare myself (mentally and physically) for what's to come. 

I am going to attempt an all natural delivery (without drugs), and if the pain causes distress to me or the baby, or unexpected reasons keep the baby from coming naturally, I will have surgery under general anesthesia (put to sleep) to deliver the baby. 

The anesthesiologist took a look at my xrays and told me that he would not touch my spine because of the extensive work that had been done. He said that regardless of risk of infection, the chances of an epidural or spinal block working effectively are very low because of the scar tissue. None of that is worth the risk of infection and having the spinal fusion redone, so my doctor made the call, and

 epidural, spinal block, and c-section under regional anesthesia (inserted through the spine) are all out of the question and not an option. 

Some people have babies with no drugs no problem! I am hoping that's my situation! My mom had epidural with all of her deliveries except for baby #4 who came a month early (AND WAS BREECH!). That is not exactly reassuring, but I am hoping that because I am strong and in shape and baby is measuring small I can do it. If my mom did it with baby #4, surely I can do it with #1 right? And if baby doesn't want to come naturally, there is a reason for it, and even though I will be put to sleep, it's safer for me and baby and DEFINITELY better than having a full spinal fusion again :)

I have already called my photographer to inform her of the chance that I will be unconscious for the birth. If I am put to sleep, she will be there to capture those moments that I won't get to experience. At least I will be able to see Matt's face the first time he holds his baby girl in his arms through photos that she will take. If I am able to do it, and I give birth naturally like a champ, then hey, she'll be there in the moments right after to capture the joy and excitement of such an accomplishment!